Ghosting, Submarining, and Why You Need a Dictionary to Date in 2018

Have you been "ghosted", or ducked out on someone?

A few dates here and there, a new relationship, only to have the partner totally pull a disappearing act - off the Facebook and Instagram accounts, the read receipts off on the iPhone messages ... Off the radar. Leaving you wondering wth* just happened, and in the dust. Now, most of us who have been in "the  game" for a while know this practice of so-called dating is unfortunately all too common. However, the term describing the crappy situation was only coined a few years ago. And, of course, as it happens these days, there's something new to replace it, and a new fad that's come to light. Perfect.

It's called "Submarining," (Definition from the Urban Dictionary. Warning - language you see on the page may not be Safe For Work) Basically, it's where your lost love resurfaces in your life after that absence, acting as if nothing has happened. Now that's a wth moment.

I've had that happen to me. A few dates. things seemingly go well, only to never hear from buddy again ... Then, a text message a couple months later, followed a few more, wondering what I'm up to, how things are ... Like he had never peaced out in the first place. Little did I know I was ahead of the times. Falling for the bait and answering. But! That's not all! 

There’s breadcrumbing, or maintaining a person’s interest by occasionally throwing them communication scraps that suggest some kind of intention; and there’s stashing, or deliberately hiding a new partner away from friends, family, and social media, as a way of keeping the relationship super casual and non-exclusive ... Hmm ... Sound familiar, anyone?

It's okay, don't feel bad. No judging here. Personally, I've been guilty of all three as well as been on the receiving end. Karma's a b*tch. 

I think it's partly because of the age we're in, where technology has gotten us to the point where certain social skills have deteriorated. We don't feel the need to have a face to face convo to break up with someone when we can do it via text. We can unfollow someone, unfriend them, disconnect so easily, doesn't it feel so easy to just pull away in real life, too, and just pull the cord?  If we've lowered the bar there for that situation, why wouldn't we lower our standards for others, too? What do you think? Have we become romantic primates again, getting what we need and throwing away the rest? 


*wth - What The Hell


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